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Holding space


Apparently, it's a buzz phrase that’s becoming a thing, so I thought to use it! So yes, I am holding space for MYSELF. Before you wonder what that means, allow me to elaborate. According to Wiki, holding space is a psychological concept that means creating a safe space for someone or something by being present for them physically, emotionally, and mentally without judgment.


As 2024 was nearing its end, I was coming to terms with how best I hold space for myself in the new year. 2024 was a year of lessons, lived experiences and a mix of highs and lows. I had decided that there were certain aspects that I did not want to repeat in 2025. That is when I decided to hold space for myself.


First on the list was alcohol and this is something to easily give up in a new year, thanks to the dry January cult. Last year, I consumed more alcohol than I should have and for unnecessary reasons using it as a coping mechanism and an outlet while washing down a lot of money. So far so good with the zero alcohol and I am aiming to cut it out for my life completely.





I have always tried my best to maintain an active lifestyle while being a foodie. But I have come to realize that while I spend money on a personal trainer and attempt to eat clean, I also continue to binge eat and drink, at the end of it all, I am at a loss and lacking in my fitness goals. So that reality made me get a grip on my habits and make better choices. It has been difficult, two weeks in and I have struggled but somewhat maintained consistency. They say it can take up to 3 weeks to form new habits and beat the old! So, help me God!


Energy and vibes! Another key thing I choose for myself. I decided that if something or someone projects negative energy and vibes, I don’t want to be in these spaces. I feel that it makes me critical, judgemental and toxic. Something that I don’t want to be. I am not perfect, and I know I have projected negative vibes at some point, but I am getting older and being at peace and having a peaceful and meaningful surrounding means everything.


If you were waiting to read about my funny relationship stories then well, most definitely the joke continues to be on me. My pattern of failed relationships has made me realize that I need to focus and love myself entirely. This girl is tired! I have come to a point where the thought of getting to know a man and his likes and dislikes and all the work you put in for a relationship, or even engaging in short-lived intimacies without the entire emotional and mental connection, scares me! I have never worried about being alone and I have mentioned before that I want companionship and to be in a relationship. But the experiences I have been through has made me choose myself and peace. I know I will meet the right person at the right time, and I leave it at that.


For now, I am holding space for myself and to become the best version of myself and attract what is best for me in all aspects of life.


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WhereEva by Evlyn Mani. Copyright © 2023

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